New Batman

(I published this originally in Medium https://medium.com/humorista/search-for-a-new-batman-e98a93a91db3 )

Fact: Batman’s superpower is wealth! Now that Sir Affleck decided to pass the batarang, two suitable candidates go on a Twitter war to battle for the coveted role.

Photo by ActionVance on Unsplash

Photo by ActionVance on Unsplash

Mark Zuckerberg @Zuckerface

Just came from DC (Comics, not Congress). I may be changing my cover photo to the bat-signal soon.

Elon Musk @Marsmadness

We’ll see about that. I also met with DC and they were impressed with my plans to upgrade the Batmobile.

Mark Zuckerberg @Zuckerface

The only bats you’ll be seeing are the ones living in your stupid L.A. tunnel. Besides, you make a much better Joker.

Elon Musk @Marsmadness

If you can’t handle a shirt and tie, how are you going to handle the bat-suit? Also, you can’t blame Alfred when they indict you for the illegalities of your product.

Mark Zuckerberg @Zuckerface

And you can’t blame Robin, when Aliens bump into your dumb space polluting Tesla and know exactly where to track us.

Elon Musk @Marsmadness

LOL!! You are one to talk about tracking people!!

Mark Zuckerberg @Zuckerface

Bruce Wayne wouldn’t bankrupt Gotham City by smoking a blunt.

Elon Musk @Marsmadness

He wouldn’t sell ads to Bane either.

Mark Zuckerberg @Zuckerface

Don’t make me expose your alter-ego FB account.

Elon Musk @Marsmadness

Elon Musk is my alter-ego.

Mark Zuckerberg @Zuckerface

I’m blocking you, Weirdo.